Gentle Parenting Explained: Because ‘Please’ Has Become My Surname

If someone had told millennials that one day we would raise our kids using a philosophy called gentle parenting, most of us would have laughed, adjusted our Walkman earphones, and gone back to watching Small Wonder. Yet here we are—parents of a digital generation—trying to raise emotionally intelligent children while our own emotional intelligence is buffering.

I have three kids aged 12, 6.5 and 4, and trust me, gentle parenting sometimes feels like an Olympic sport… without the medal. Every day I begin with the same line:

“Please… can you get ready?”
“Please… keep your shoes properly.”
“Please… stop fighting before I join you.”

No wonder my brothers watch me with shock and amusement.
They tell me, “When did you start talking like an Alexa with manners?” Because honestly, no one spoke to us like this. Back then, instructions came without ‘please,’ ‘thank you,’ or explanations. Those were luxury items, like ice-cream on weekdays.

But gentle parenting is different. It is softer, slower, and sometimes—let me admit—emotionally exhausting.

As someone joked once,

“Gentle parenting is basically parenting on hard mode.”

So What Exactly Is Gentle Parenting?

It’s not about being soft or permissive.
It’s not about singing lullabies while your kid is climbing the refrigerator like Spider-Man.

It’s about being intentional:

• Understanding your child’s emotions
• Responding, not reacting
• Setting boundaries without belting anyone
• Respecting the child, even when your inner voice wants to Google “boarding schools near me”

There are days I manage it.
There are days I feel I’m failing.
And there are days when gentle parenting makes me feel… depressed.
Yes, I said it. Because breaking old generational patterns is not a one-day detox—it’s lifetime therapy with no subscription cancellation option.

But still, I’m learning. And it’s good.

“We repeat what we don’t repair.”

And gentle parenting is really adult healing disguised as child guidance.

But Wait — What About Discipline?

Ah, discipline!
Let’s be honest. Every parent dreams of correcting behaviour with words alone. But sometimes we need… negative reinforcement. Not sticks, not belts, not “Do you want to meet my sandal?”, but sensible consequences and firmness.

“Firm is not the opposite of gentle. Harsh is.”

Gentle parenting doesn’t mean allowing chaos.
It means correcting behaviour without crushing spirit.

Unique Gentle Parenting Techniques That Actually Work

Here are a few interesting ones you may not have heard anywhere:

1. The “Do-Over” Trick
When they say something rudely, instead of scolding, say:
“Let’s try that again in a kinder voice.”
It resets the moment like refreshing a webpage.

2. The Whisper Method
Kids are wired to notice unusual things.
If you lower your voice, they automatically tune in.

3. Name Their Need, Not Their Behaviour
Instead of: “Stop shouting!”
Try: “You sound upset. Tell me what you need.”
Kids calm down faster when they feel heard.

4. The ‘Two Right Choices’ Method
Give choices where both options are acceptable:
“Do you want bath first or dinner first?”

5. Mirror Calmness (Even When You Don’t Have Any)
They mirror your emotional state. So the calmer you appear, the quicker they settle.

6. Repair Ritual
After a meltdown—yours or theirs—sit together for 2 minutes and reconnect.
Kids remember repairs more than mistakes.

A Thought to Ponder

“Children don’t need perfect parents.
They need parents who try, fail, repair, and try again with love.”

Gentle parenting isn’t about never losing your temper.
It’s about learning to find yourself again… every single time.