‘All’ Aboard the Crazy Train: Finding Joy in the Mess

What does “having it all” really mean? To some, it’s a successful career, perfectly-behaved children, a spotless home, weekend getaways, glowing skin, 8 hours of sleep, and a smiling selfie that says, “I’ve got this!” To me? It’s a cup of hot coffee that’s still hot.

Let’s be real. “Having it all” feels like juggling flaming pineapples on a unicycle while reciting Shakespeare—blindfolded. You can aim for balance, but life will always nudge a pineapple your way. And that’s okay.

I used to think “all” meant a checklist. Career? Tick. Kids? Tick. Happy marriage? Tick. Me-time, fitness, meditation, side hustle, skincare routine, gratitude journaling, eco-friendly shopping bag? Tick-tick-boom! But slowly, I realized: “All” isn’t a list. It’s a feeling. A quiet moment where your heart smiles without needing an audience.

“Don’t aim for perfection. Aim for laughter between the chaos,” said absolutely no philosopher ever, but it should be on a T-shirt.

There are days I walk into a room and forget why. There are nights I stay up making tomorrow’s to-do list and then lose it. There are mornings I look like a potato, but my child calls me “beautiful.” That, my friend, is having it all.

I’ve seen people with shiny cars and frowns. Others with simple joys and shining eyes. So maybe “having it all” is not having everything, but feeling everything—fully. The messy, the magical, the in-betweens.

As Nora Ephron said, “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” Even if the heroine sometimes wears mismatched socks and cries over spilt cereal.

One day, I asked my son what he thought “having it all” meant. He shrugged and said, “Getting an extra fry in your McDonald’s packet.” Honestly? That’s probably the most profound answer I’ve ever heard.

So no, I don’t think “having it all” is some final destination with balloons and a slow clap. It’s more like a dance—sometimes elegant, sometimes you trip over your own feet, but you keep moving with a grin.

Thought to ponder:
What if “having it all” isn’t about adding more to your plate… but savoring what’s already on it?

Now excuse me, my coffee’s gone cold. Again. But hey, I’m still winning.