Gravity Isn’t a Game, and Neither Are My Shoes

If I could make my pets understand one thing, it would be this: “Your actions are adorable… but also occasionally infuriating!”

Take my dear hypothetical dog, for example. While I deeply admire your boundless curiosity and sense of adventure, chewing on my brand-new shoes isn’t exactly the way to showcase it. “My dear furry philosopher, must you seek the meaning of life within the confines of my left stiletto?”

Shoes are not snacks, my friend. Have you ever considered the financial and emotional trauma a human endures when their favorite pair of sneakers meets the wrath of your sharp little teeth? “Was it tasty, buddy? Did it taste like bacon?” You have an entire basket of toys, a couch corner (okay, let’s not go there), and even that stick you proudly dragged home. But no, you chose my stiletto—the one I was planning to wear to an office party.

And then there’s the nocturnal howling. Yes, the moon is beautiful, but must you serenade it at 3 a.m.? “You’re channeling your inner wolf, I get it—but how about channeling some good manners instead?”

Oh, and let’s not forget the cats! Could you explain why 2 a.m. is the perfect time for a marathon across the living room? Is this some sort of feline Olympics I wasn’t informed about? And knocking things off the counter—why? “Gravity isn’t a game; it’s a law!”

All jokes aside, pets teach us love, patience, and a sense of humor. If only they could understand the little things: shoes are expensive, the couch isn’t a claw sharpener, and my lap is not a permanent nap spot (okay, maybe sometimes).

Thought to ponder: Maybe it’s not about them understanding us, but us learning from them—to slow down, embrace the present, find joy in simple things, and love unconditionally. After all, “Life is better with a wagging tail or a purring cuddle.”